TESTIMONIALS
Deanna R., Canon City, Co
I use the HCG to suppress my appetite. It helps maintain the weight loss I have had. Turns out that severe sleep apnea was a big part of my problem of weight gain. I am using a bipap device and sleeping better.
My boyfriend i are both oral lovers. I see that now. I have not had sex for 10 years and to get into having it again is marvelous. I can see why I eat and why I want to chew things. Sex is a much better way to go as long as you have a partner with the same level of sexual drive. I use testosterone bio-identical cream so that helps the sex drive greatly. Anyway my understanding about my oral love making has explained the way I want to eat all the time. The HCG helps curb that. I am so grateful to you two for setting up your program.
My other hip is scheduled to be replaced in Feb. after I turn 65.
Deanna R., Canon City, Co
I just wanted to thank you both for your help. I am going into surgury tomorrow for a hip replacement. I have lost 25 lbs. in preparation for that. What is more is that my brain feels like it is back to being in balance as far as food goes. I can trust my hunger feelings again.
Two things really helped my mind.
Kim said something about being perfect as I am and I can always use some improvement. From the “Wellness” program.
Renate said to relax and know that hCG is always there as an aid. That really took off the fear element from the state of mind.
I am okay just as I am. To be able to ground that in my body is really a gift from you both.
Eternally grateful.
Carin C, Los Angeles
Is hCG life-changing? You bet. After 4 years, I am dating again and feeling good about myself. Not afraid any more to go for a promotion at my job too. I am a different person and this is not just looks. It’s inside me. I feel I got a grip and mastered something. This is awesome and I can’t thank you enough.
Marina T, Minneapolis
I loved the phone coaching half an hour every week, it was so reassuring and I got all my questions answered. Renate was so patient and kind and clever, too. She just knew when I was bs…ing myself and complaining that I didn’t lose a pound a day. Well, no. I had cheated a bit here and there, wouldn’t you know. It just takes knowledge to know what to do, and I got that from Renate. I lost a proud 17 pounds in 6 weeks. The best is that I don’t have to worry. If I fall off the band-wagon, like on my next vacation or over Xmas, I will simply go back on. This is forever, I know it now.
Judy C, Fairfax
I’ve been in a local support group with Kim and Renate and it’s changed my life exactly as they said it would. I lost over 30 pounds and saw every single member of the group lose and lose and start looking amazing. I can wear clothes again that I kept since graduation. I still can’t quite believe it. Without the super support of the group I couldn’t have done it. There were moments when I wanted to bail. But here I am, a new me! Thank you, Renate, thank you, Kim. You gave me the best gift I could ever wish for.
Fran H., San Francisco:
I can say I am still on the yo-yo mode but making steps. It’s getting easier and I can stay closer to the basic diet stuff in my eating. It’s a great feeling to be in my bathing suit and not die of shame any more. Always dreaded summer. HCG is amazing. The hCG Village is great!
From Rosy A., Berkeley, CA:
I’ve spent many years dedicated to the avoidance of being “difficult” and “picky.” Always wanting everyone to feel as comfortable, appreciated and received as possible, I’ve gone with the flow on countless occasions. This pattern of acquiescence has undoubtedly popped up in the realm of dining. When invited to someone’s house, for example, I’ve willingly eaten what’s been served…as an expression of my gratitude to the chef, my addictive love of bready-cheesy-sweet-n’salty comfort foods, and my life-long fear of awkward moments.
Even during times in my own life, when I was genuinely committed to taking a break from sugar, carbs, and/or doing my best to honor my vegetarian diet, I’d temporarily relinquish my body’s deeper wishes, for the sake of my relationships. Outer harmony almost always took precedence over inner harmony. And usually, seemingly minor outer compromises ballooned out into something much bigger on the inside — an extended binge (Why not? The damage was already done! And it tastes so good!) followed by a hefty self-critic attack (How could you have done that?!.
Deep down I knew I had sacrificed something much more important than an intellectual culinary preference. I had broken a sacred trust, an agreement — with myself, with the animal kingdom, and with my body’s inner wisdom. And all for the sake of avoiding some momentary discomfort.
So, one of my main intentions for engaging in this “hCG cleanse” was to restore my trust in and respect for myself. I wanted to use this as an opportunity — both literal and symbolic — to put my relationship to my ‘self’ and ‘spirit’ first. To show that I was willing to feel the discomfort I had been avoiding for so long, to stay true to my deeper needs and wishes, even if that meant saying ‘no’ to immediate gratification, even if that meant being perceived as difficult, picky, or someone whose needs were asking for accommodation, instead of the other way around.
Since I was on the protocol during the holidays, I had plenty of opportunities to test my courage. Most of the time, I learned that my worst-case-scenario imagination was much more vivid and awful than reality usually was.
But then came X-mas! YIKES!
A bit of background: My family was invited over to a lovely family’s home. This was our first time celebrating X-mas with this rather large group of people. We didn’t know the majority of the people present. The hosts and their extended family from out of town had been slaving in the kitchen for days, creating an abundantly delicious spread. Of course, they were all gourmet chefs.
You can imagine. There were several pies, fluffy cream cakes and mouth-watering desserts. It took every bit of strength I had just to be in the room without spontaneously combusting from self-restraint!
I promised myself that I’d be gentle that day, that I would stay connected to the protocol without clinging with too much rigidity. I’d find a relatively healthy balance, a good-enough selection of foods from the options that were available.
And that’s exactly what I did. Doing my best to remain under the radar, I took some vegetables (and even a bit of duck) onto my plate. It was somewhat torturous to pass by the rest, but I survived, and it felt right. I sat down quietly next to my husband, and gave out a combined sigh of relief and pride.
That’s when the father of the host took notice of my plate. Or should I say “took alarm”?
“WHAT’S THAT?!!!!” he asked with mouth agape, pointing his brows into a ‘V’ and shocked finger at my plate. ”IS THAT ALL YOU’RE EATING????!!!!”
I did my best to calmly and quickly deflect the attention, thanking him for his concern, letting him know I was on a cleanse, and how delicious the food I was already tasting was, etc.
But he wasn’t to be stopped.
“WHAT?!!! DO YOU HAVE AN EATING DISORDER?!!! IS THAT YOUR PROBLEM?!! ARE YOU WORRIED ABOUT BEING FAT?!!! IF THAT’S IT, I CAN ASSURE YOU YOU’RE JUST FINE. ARE YOU AWARE OF HOW HARD MY DAUGHTERS WORKED ON THIS MEAL? ARE YOU TELLING ME THEY SLAVED ALL DAY FOR YOU TO EAT THAT?!!!! DO YOU KNOW HOW DELICIOUS IT IS?!!! NO ONE IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WOULDN’T EAT WHAT’S HERE!!!! C’MON, GO BACK UP TO THE BUFFET. YOU’VE GOT TO TRY THE …. AND THE…. AND THE… C’MON!!! DO IT!!!”
As if that weren’t enough, he kept going. It was truly amazing. I couldn’t have imagined a better enactment of my worst social dining nightmare. If I hadn’t been so embarrassed & squirmy, I might have giggled with grateful amusement right there on the spot.
But it took a little while before the humor and gratitude arrived. During those first moments, all I wanted was to bolt out of the room, hide under the table… or even more accurately, to run up to that buffet, lift up each and every serving dish and potently pour its entire content into my mouth.
If ever there were a time for good emotionally-stuffing binge, that was it!
And yet, (largely thanks to the internalized support of Kim and Renate, the fierce love of my protective husband, and every little piece of self-respect I’d accumulated from having followed the protocol up to and through that moment), I stayed strong. Ultimately, I was even able to laugh and graciously calm the situation, without changing a thing on my plate.
In the end, we all had a grand time. I even had some nice moments with the father, my guilt-inducing nemesis.
And I learned a priceless lesson; that I could survive a highly uncomfortable social dining experience without abandoning or betraying myself.
Thank you, dearest Renate and Kim… Without you, this story might not have had such a happy ending!
From Catherine T., San Francisco:
Excerpts from a diary kept during the hCG Protocol with Kim and Renate, posted here with her permission:
Last night at the party someone said I seemed like a happy person and I felt so embarrassed I almost cried–”I am having a terrible time, I’m filled with jealousy and poison,” I thought–”why does she think I’m happy?”
I am having a hard time. I am not having euphoria and this is pretty disappointing. I think the hCG might be helping with my hunger, on the other hand, I keep having this defeating thought that I would be feeling this way without the HCG and it’s a placebo that isn’t working on me because I am more pessimistic and victimized than most women and I’m not “thinking positive.” Maybe they are only hungry but I am all this other stuff and that’s what’s hard. What I have to know about myself is what’s hard. I’d rather not know.
The depressive, dark, roiling murky, angry, resentful, revengeful part of me is so present now when I am alone and I never show it in public—Who is this? I can see why she’s been out of sight. I don’t want her. I probably need a way to integrate that more, but how can I do that without pushing everyone away? I feel suffocated by these feelings and their bare truth. I know I feel victimized and petty, jealous, angry, like I want revenge on the world for how hard it is. I can’t push this part of me away and “think positive”. I must integrate, integrate, integrate. I wish I could cry, but I feel so bottled up. Maybe I will cry today. Would crying be more satisfying than a burrito?
Last night I dreamed I was trying to warn a school full of small children and teachers that a huge tidal wave was coming. Everyone was very busy and distracted and could not focus. Then I was in a meeting where someone was presenting us with his new beautiful chocolate bar. I raised my hand and asked, “What was your aesthetic inspiration for making this chocolate?”
I often dream about tidal waves: massive, blind destruction. But I never thought they were about what I was feeling. Or not feeling.
I think they represent my dread and fear and the sense of overwhelm I have about things. And the chocolate is so funny! That’s what I’ve found in my life, a chocolate bar to keep me safe against a tidal wave.
Any choice about my size, about losing weight, is astonishing to me. It lifts a lifetime of discouragement. Kim told meyesterday, “everyone thinks it won’t work for them,” and that is exactly how I feel. It will stop working. I won’t be able to go on.
But maybe it will work? And what will happen then? How do I comfort and reward myself if not with food? I do not know the answer to this question. (I want to replace compulsive eating with compulsive writing!) My shoulders ache, my eyes are heavy with un-slept sleep. I want to lie down right now in this library and cry.
It gets easier. I am living with medium to mild cravings and longings; not much hunger; and a mounting pleasure in what I have done. I seem to be at about 198 now. That’s 13 pounds in 17 days. It has been so hard and it’s not about hunger. I have been wrestling with an angel and trying to find my meaning in it all. If I can get free of this, what will I do? Perhaps I can thrive on a lot less “comfort”? The feelings are so intense: jealousy, grief, rage, cruelty, indifference, helplessness, mad cravings and feeling crushed. It’s like living through a hurricane at times. It is hard to go straight for this vulnerable stuff though. I want to check out, to not focus on it. To wake up different through no effort. etc. etc. I’m thinking again this is the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life. But somehow I’m doing it.
Two more days, plus two more of the restriction without the HCG. Four more days. Then I think I am ending for now. I’m at 195 or so. So that’s 16 pounds in 19 days. I am really pleased. It’s amazing. On the feelings front, I am in lots of turmoil. My temper is short, I am touchy and sad. This is the perfect moment to “assault eat”. And I will not. But I am wondering about later, after the program is over–will I be able to keep restricting? The weight loss is a powerful motivator. Some pretty clothes of mine fit me again. I want to be able to handle my feelings and not use food to soothe them, but will I be able to do that for the rest of my life? Maybe if I ever am told I have 3 months to live I promise myself I will eat only ice cream.
I spoke to you on the phone about how I’m feeling today. I’m noticing this kind or foundational feeling (that’s the word I keep finding)–as if I have more of a right to be here. I think it has to do with feeling proud of myself for doing the hardest thing I can do. Working on my relationship to food is the oldest, toughest, most entrenched part of me. As we said today–it’s not likely for me to find something harder. With my clients, I feel a new sense of balance, of rootedness. If I can deal with this for myself, I can ask them to do the hard things they need to do for themselves too. I can support them to do those things. This makes me feel transparent, more authentic. Like I am not a fraud.